“Kill them with kindness,” they said. “Kill them with kindness,” I thought? “Kindness kills me.” Kindness.is.hard. I don’t like being kind. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s hard for me to have compassion, to be patient, and to be loving to people and mean it.
My heart is sad. I have tried writing this blog over and over for the past two months but have not been able to bring myself to doing so. I ache inside. As sons and daughters of Christ, we have been liberated, so why are so many Christians still living in chains? Myself included.
In the past few months, there have been numerous amounts of reported accounts on the news of shootings related to hate crimes.
I think it’s much easier for all of us to minimize these actions by spitting hateful or bias words back at one another, or feeling the need to “take a side” on social media. Yet, if we continually point the blame and never examine our own hearts being the problem, we will continue to remain stagnant in moving towards love.
I admit I am fearful. I am fearful my heart is callous to the hurts of individuals I see every day.
I am brought back to the story of Peter and when Jesus told Peter he would deny him three times before the rooster crowed. Peter was so sure he wouldn’t do it that he missed the very thing he swore he’d never do. How often are we so brutally judgmental of the hate crimes around us that we forget to examine our own hearts to see if this is something we are capable of? We sit here and cry out with our fists held up to Heaven asking God how could he let such hatred exist when I am often guilty of forgetting in 1 John 3:15 where it says, “Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer…”
Where sin runs deep, your grace runs deeper
Often in our navigation through confusing situations, our expression is an aimed target of condemnation. I am reminded our fight is not against each other but an adversary much greater. But if we continue to allow our eyes to be fixed on each other and not on a King who came to redeem and restore his people to peace, we will continue in the fight against one another.
I am reminded often of something I’ve heard Matt Chandler say in his sermons and that is: in 50 years when your grandchildren ask you about the events that took place and the social movements that were progressing or regressing, where will you tell them you where? What will you tell them you did? Did you remain silent for your fellow brothers and sisters? Were you hateful and careless with your words because you just felt like you needed to say something? Did you fight in your heart against the prejudice that swells up? Did you fight to treat people fairly?
I often hide behind fear in times as these because it’s an awkward and uncomfortable subject. I avoid the topic because I don’t want to feel uncomfortable, but mainly, I think it’s because I don’t want to deal with the own prejudice in my heart. The prejudice in my heart when it comes to interacting with people who are different than me: different skin color, different religion, different sexual orientation, different size, different interests, and then I find myself in a place where I’ve grown prejudice to anyone who isn’t, well, me.
And in such a time as this, I am reminded how desperately I need Jesus.
I am guilty of dismissing people’s concerns or hurts around me because I am so caught up in myself and my opinions, my fears, my validation in this world. When will I take the commandment to love others as myself seriously? What will it take?
God in Heaven, soften our hearts to understanding, being slow to speak, and quick to listen.
Kali Dunson